The Adventures of Average Joe Schmoe

I'm Seeing Double!!!

2005-02-24T16:11:00.000-05:00

"Remember how I said that you REALLY have to be careful what you wish for because you just might get it? Remember how I was eager to meet our friends from Off-World? Well ..."

Meet the next generation in the Clan Schmoe!

First we have Orion (first born) and the most unique.

And then came Oblivion - a child after my own heart.

I love both of my boys dearly.

I already know that it's going to be difficult for me to raise these boys on my own ... so ... I invited Jan Tellerman back into my home. I don't think we can be anything more than friends though.

You remember Jan, don't you?

"I know I need someone who's a bit more stable in the home. I have to work, and I know Jan has her own agenda ... even though she's sworn to me that there's no one else but me. But I need someone more reliable ... someone I can trust to take care of my boys. But who?"

What in the ... ?!

2005-02-19T21:55:00.000-05:00

"So ... okay. I admit that there's a novelty to being pregnant. Any knowledge sim with half a brain would agree with me on that. But ..."

Men were NOT meant to endure THIS kind of pain!!!!

For miles and miles around ...

... the screams were heard throughout the entire neighborhood of Area 51 (and a half). What could possibly be happening to cause a sim to make such heart-wrenching sounds of pure agony?!?!

"Wouldn't you like to know?!"

Wanna Run That By Me Again?!?!

2005-02-17T16:31:00.000-05:00

"So ... I went to see my doctor today. He was quite surprised by my changed appearnce! So he ran some tests ... LOTS of tests. The results?"

Pregnant?!?!

I guess our friends from Off-World gave me a bit more of a gift than I was expecting. Shocked? That's an understatment. I found myself doing some very intensive meditation sessions just to get used to the idea. I got so good at meditating, in fact, that I sometimes felt lighter than air.

And I found that playing the piano, especially when you know how to play, also helps in these "meditative endeavors" ...

That doesn't work so well when the piano is out of tune though. Luckily, a repairman is only a phonecall away.

But with the way I've been feeling ... I'm wondering just what kind of being I'm going to be bringing into the world.

"Perhaps ... I don't want to know ..."

Be Careful What You Wish For ...

2005-02-11T22:18:00.000-05:00

"Because you just might get it! And BOY did I ever get it!"

Our Off-World Friends paid me a little visit a while ago. Unfortunately, I was too stupefied to take any half-way decent pictures. I can't really recall what happened when they took me from my backyard that night (around 9 PM). I only remember when I landed back in my yard, face down in the dirt with an aching backside.

The day after my return, I started feeling a little ... WEIRD ...

Right in the middle (or rather the end) of my yoga routine ... I made an unscheduled trip to the bathroom ...

TWICE ...

THREE times (the third after a shower) ...

I felt nauseous ... tired ... hungry ... tired ... I didn't know WHAT was wrong and I was starting to get REALLY worried. The doctor couldn't find what was wrong with me and just told me to take it easy for a while. He told me if I ever noticed a change that I should tell him.

And then something truly amazing happened! It took several months for me to notice a change ... BUT NOTICE I DID!!!

My stomach was .... CHANGING ...

"What could it possibly mean?!"

Working Things Out

2005-02-10T20:59:00.000-05:00

"So ... I was alone once again. Oh, sure. Jan and I still kept in touch (I did still love her after all), and even though she had cheated, I somehow got the feeling that she felt deeply for me. But ... the trust was gone."

Thus, being on my own again, I decided that I needed to change a few things. I'd lost sight of why I'd really moved to Area 51 and 1/2.

Life on other worlds!!

So ... I decided to concentrate on those things that might make me more "appealing" to our Off World Brethren:

My mind.

And my body.

Extraterrestrials are very intelligent beings. So why on SimEarth would they want to come into contact with someone who only uses half a brain? They wouldn't!

Meditation was one of the ways I worked on this problem (not that it WAS a problem).

And no one wants to look at flab. Yoga came in really handy for fighting the battle of the bulge.

Once I started working on those two aspects of my life, my mood and energy increased, and I found a new lease on life.

"Things were starting to look up!"

Jan Tellerman ...

2005-02-09T22:16:00.000-05:00

"Even though I am a knowledgable kind of guy, I do tend to get lonely just staring up at the stars day in and day out (night in and night out), and learning about anything and everything."

So ... after work one day (I am a scientist), I brought home a colleague - Jan Tellerman.

Suffice it to say ... it was a BRIEF affair ... as she had aspirations of quite a different nature than my own. And after having invited her to live in my home, and after she went through the hassle of changing her career from science to military, she brought home a colleague of hers ... a female colleague ... and made out with her right there for the WHOLE WORLD to see! I was apalled!

So I asked her to leave. Don't get me wrong. I am, by no means, ready to be married to anyone. I have too many dreams and desires with meeting our extraterrestrial friends ... but I don't agree with infidelity in a relationship. Monogamy is KEY!

"What really sucks is that I still love her. *sigh* I wonder if I'll ever see her again ..."

Introducing Average Joe

2005-02-08T23:03:00.000-05:00

"'Ello. My name is Average ... Average Joe. I've got Irish and Scottish blood in meh."

Several months ago, I moved to a neighborhood that I'd only ever read about in one of those tabloid magazines. It's a neighborhood that was rumored not to exist ... except in the imaginations of those paranoid few who believe that WE ARE NOT ALONE.

Area 51 ... and a half.

And this is my home.

I moved here because I have a belief ... I believe that WE ARE NOT ALONE. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not like those other paranoid guys out there who put aluminum foil on their heads and dance naked under the stars. I'm an educated sim.

And I plan to prove it. I bought a really expensive telescope that is rumored to attract extraterrestrials, and I plan to use it until I meet some! There is an old tale that if two moons appear in the sky, that THEY will come. Is it true?

"Only time will tell ..."